Allison Henry Aver on why 45 is the perfect age to start your own agency

The most surprising thing to me when I opened my branding agency, Letter A, was just how ready I was, which is not to say it was easy to get to that place. It absolutely wasn't.

I'd spent the past 20 years working in-house as a creative director and graphic designer for some of the biggest beauty and fashion brands while living in New York City. Vogue. Kate Spade New York. Bumble and bumble. Ann Taylor. I was even part of the team that launched the cult brand Kate Spade Saturday from the ground up. For plenty of designers, this is the dream. All signs pointed to an upward trajectory: fulfilling, creative work, sexy brands, big budget campaigns, and titles with VP in them.

Little did I know that massive changes were lying in wait. In the span of three months in the winter of 2015, I not only became a mother at 41, but also moved across the country to Portland, Oregon, for my husband's job.

I took a few years off after having my son and naively assumed that, when I was ready, I would easily find a job after my West Coast relocation. However, the opportunities weren't as plentiful in my new home, and the part of the industry I loved—in-house brand building, fashion, beauty—wasn't the scene in Portland.

That was when I started to worry. Like, really worry. I was creeping past 43, and I feared that the older I got and the longer I went without a job, the more unemployable—and irrelevant—I would become.

Fear of ageing

Until then, I had never really agonised about my age. I'd worried about my own talents and abilities, but imposter syndrome in your 20s and 30s is par for the course. Now, though, my age, being a mother, my appearance—those became new threads to pull on. It's funny: we all want our doctors and lawyers to look seasoned or older, but we expect our creative talent to appear perpetually under 40.

I felt very isolated during this period. Most creatives feel the unrelenting pressure to be cool and relevant, and we work in an industry that prioritises youth culture and staying on top of every trend and influencer. So would I be judged on my 25+ years of experience, sidelined, deemed too expensive, stuck in my ways, or not looking the part?

I thought that if I didn't do something quickly, I might never work again.

Saved by ambition

Ultimately, it was my own ambition that saved me. I love the work I do. For a few years, I cobbled together work at other agencies and took on projects here and there. I managed to find places and projects where I could work in my zone of genius—building rich worlds and helping founders bring their brands to life.

It was also around this time that I got some invaluable advice from a friend: I needed to rebrand myself.

I was already doing the work of a small indie studio, but because everything was under my name, it very much made me look small and like a hired gun. Instead, I needed to present myself as a thoughtful, strategic, creative partner with the ability to build a team.

It was a shaky time, but all that job-hopping gave me back my confidence and voice. I found I could lead the work and ground it in the kind of brand strategy I had built my career on. I noticed I took a more comprehensive approach to branding, mostly because I'd previously worked on very successful brands that were fleshed out and fully realised. I brought my knowledge from years in-house, along with my ability to fully immerse myself in a brand's universe and ethos, and applied both to my own agency. I heard myself giving opinions to people, and they listened.

And that's because I knew what I was talking about. There was no second-guessing, and it was a feeling I had never felt before. For years, everything was clouded in indecision and crossing my fingers. I never attributed my success to talent, a good sense of business, or having a good eye; in truth, I had been building that all along.

What's more, all my insecurities about age became a kind of superpower.

Early on, I found myself working with founders and brand leaders who shared my experiences and interests. Whether they're working mothers or Gen Xers, they want to feel like they're collaborating with a peer or an expert who takes them seriously. Someone who gets them.

Key takeaways

In the end, we need creatives who have lived a genuine life and have some years under their belt. All of those experiences are ultimately what will make you a better designer, writer, strategist, or leader (which is its own kind of relevance and social currency). You haven't "aged out." Working as a creative has always been a constant battle to remain relevant, and that's been the job from day one.

You can say that with age comes wisdom, but I also did the work, and I always showed up. It's why I never call opening my agency a pivot. It was just the natural progression of things. But I did it, and it felt totally right.

And it only took 30 years to figure that all out. I'm happy I finally did.